Outsider Looking In

One of my English teachers from high school, Mrs. Reitz, recently posted this article. While reading it, I couldn't help but see myself... how I felt, how I act, and how I react.

I've mentioned on here before that being from a military family and being in the military I've had to move around and therefore have missed out on having those life-long friends that most people have... the ones that they grew up with, the ones they went to college with, the ones that they'll never be without. I don't tend to open up to people I don't know. I don't usually go up to people I don't know and insert myself into conversations. I've been told on multiple occasions (by some good friends) that I can come off as a b***h because of these things... I've tried to change how I come off but I'm not sure how it has worked out. I have some fantastic friends that I've come to love over the years... sadly, most of them are in different states due to the military.

When Chris and I moved to VA we joined a church, met some great people and became good friends... or so we thought. I put myself out there, I opened up, I let myself be vulnerable and I was hurt, tremendously. Enough so that we ended up leaving the church in order to find another one. A few months later we found IBC after looking at MANY other churches. I love the church but even after a year I feel like an outsider at times. It's truly hard to move into a new area, where friends already exist and groups are already formed. In order to try to counteract this Chris and I joined a small group and have tried to become involved in the happenings of the ABF (Sunday school). Most recently someone (multiple someones) invited me to join the church's MOPS group. I thought long and hard about this... I prayed about it... I tried to come up with excuses why I couldn't/shouldn't join. Instead I decided to put myself out there... You can join and pay either all at once or one meeting at a time. I decided to bite the bullet and pay for the entire year hoping that this would ensure that I would attend.

So tonight was the first meeting. I was excited to be going... more so for the opportunity to NOT to be the outsider anymore, the opportunity to hopefully make those life-long friends that I long to have... friends I can trust and that are there for me... friends that are at the same place in their life that I am. Chris came home from work, I fed Aiden, I left... sadly, on the way to the church I hit a pothole and destroyed my tire. :-( We're still not sure if it's the tire or if I messed up my rim as well. Hopefully we can find out tomorrow. Maybe I can go to the next meeting without it being so eventful... we shall see! Here's to hoping